All children are taught please and thank you. But in the South you have to add "ma'am" and "sir" after all your “pleases” and thank “yous.” I had asked a coworker to please assist me a bit with Southern manners because she said we spoke in a rude manner, and it took me a while to figure out what she was talking about because in the North we're not taught to include ma'am or sir after everything. We’re not impolite, we’re just streamlining. Northerners just get to the point. I don’t ask her for advice anymore after I overheard her rail about “all these rude Yankees” who transferred over to the company after the merge.
Down South, most men (and some of the ladies) call me “Ms. Barbara.” I don’t have a difficult last name, and it appears to be generally geared toward women. I don’t hear anyone calling my boss “Mr. Bobby.” Up North, usually I only hear children calling their teachers “Ms. First Name,” and usually only when the last name is complex.
It seems that to be polite in the South you must waste your time talking to people you don't want to talk to. For instance, if you are at the mall and someone catches you with a stack of pamphlets, you are obligated to look interested, nod your head, politely say no thank you at least 11 times before excusing yourself for good and throwing away their pamphlet in private.
Up North, we have an understanding that the salesperson pretends that you actually didn't see them or they simply mutter something rude under their breath and move on to the next target. Not in the South. This is a waste of time - you're wasting my time blabbering on about your product or religion, I've tuned you out, I'm bored, I’M NOT LISTENING. I don't think it makes someone impolite if they just want to be left alone. In fact, I think it's polite to leave someone alone who wants to be.
I've also noticed that overall, Northerners talk fast, over each other and will interrupt without thinking. In my family it's the only way to get a word in. In the South, a story can go on for an hour and a pause can be a full minute. If you talk during this "pause" you're rude. I read somewhere that “A conversation with a Northerner is like a game of ping pong. Thoughts go back and forth rapidly like a ping pong ball over the net. In the South it's more like baseball. It's slow, each talker has a turn when they're "at bat" and you better not try to talk when it isn't your turn. Yankees can also be more abrupt than Southerners. We're not trying to be rude, we're trying to be polite and save everyone time.” Good description – my co-worker could use this explanation.
Southern gentlemen do have better manners in some areas. I cannot tell you how many times a Northern jerk has not only *not* held a door open for me, but let it slam in my face. I can open a door myself, but if ANYONE is right behind you, male or female, it’s just polite to at a minimum make sure they’ve caught the door. For all you know, when letting a door close behind you, a parent juggling kids and bags might be right behind you. So manners are important. Say please, say thank you, and hold open a door for someone. Northerners in the South, exercise your patience, it's a lot slower moving down here. Southerners, please understand, we're not trying to be rude, we're just a faster-paced people.
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