Downsizing

Florida housing has minimal storage. Houses in Florida often have high ceilings and lots of fans, to help with the heat. Regardless of air conditioning, high ceilings help, but that also means that there is little attic space. What space there is, is really too hot to store much.

 
Florida is mere feet above sea level, and the water table even inland is high. That means no basements. For unknown reasons, Florida houses don't usually have front closets. It gets chilly enough in the winter in north Florida to need a jacket, and it rains tons so there are raincoats and umbrellas galore, but no handy place to put them. What Florida houses *do* often have is a fireplace. You'd pay a premium for a fireplace up north, but they are scattered everywhere in Florida. There are also screened porches, sometimes with glass or plastic-paned windows which makes it a Florida room. Sadly, they are not air conditioned usually (even the ones with proper windows) so the humidity limits what you can place there. Also, critters manage to get in regardless, so that also affects your furnishing selections.

What all this means is that a move to Florida from the north means downsizing. The square footage of the house in Florida is a good deal larger than the house in Michigan, but the lack of usable attic space and no basement means much less storage. An open floor plan also means fewer walls for bookcases and other storage furniture. A fireplace takes out a nice chunk of wall space also. And you can't just store books and photo albums in the Florida room - too humid.

On the plus side, we may have the only front closet in north Florida, but it is teeny. As in the door is 18 inches. Go measure your own front closet door. The closet rod has a usable length of just over 19 inches, and the closet is barely deep enough for the hangars to not hit the back wall. Not much storage there.

We've given away hundreds of books and probably thousands of other items, thrown out a 20-yard container’s worth of stuff and discarded a huge amount of duplicate furniture. We still have an appalling amount of things coming to Florida, and there simply isn't room. During my time in Wisconsin, dozens of boxes of books, a good deal of furniture (I needed stuff) and a lot of kitchen items made their way to the apartment. So nearly everything I had came from the house, with the notable exceptions of a couch and a new bed when I moved to Florida (the bed I had before, from Michigan, is now in the guest room). So it's mostly still the same stuff. The house in Michigan had enough belongings to pretty much furnish TWO homes.   

When the truck comes, the boxes will go into the garage and the furniture initially into the Florida room, while we decide where things will go and which of the duplicate items we'll keep and which get sent to the resale shop. Boxes that have been packed for months are tagged and will be moved to storage in the first week or two, with the goal of taking them out a few at a time each week and sorted. It's just too much to leave in the garage for that long over a Florida summer. Some items will be sent to the kids, though they shouldn't panic since I'm not paying to ship everything we have. Nobody will be in convenient driving distance. 
 

Downsizing is incredibly hard. We've stumbled across some treasures I'd forgotten about, and some I didn't even remember we had, like my grandparent's bible. It's not one of those big fancy Family Bibles with all the family history in its pages - just a plain vanilla book but it has the Doré illustrations that I remember pouring over as a child. Going through stuff rather than just wholesale discarding is how the treasures get found. Some treasures were lost - damaged beyond hope over the years, but that just makes the others more precious. Hopefully, over the next six months or so, we can weed out the unimportant and worthless possessions and downsize to what is important.

Melting Pot?

Today is Easter, and its differing traditions among various ethnic groups, has got me to thinking about similarities and differences between the Great Lakes area and the South. I recall a lot of Eastern European traditions growing up – lamb cake, fancy eggs, lamb butter, Easter egg hunts in the house, and baskets filled with candies. In Michigan, just before Lent, everyone would have pączki. Now, that is a long-standing Polish tradition to use up eggs and butter – it is a rich jelly donut, but rich enough to make it hard to call it a donut.  I’d never heard of it in my Polish/Ukrainian family in Chicago, but in the Detroit area, EVERYONE ate pączki. Didn’t matter if you were Polish, or even Christian. It was a local thing (so was eating muskrat, which I never tried after nearly 30 years in the Downriver Detroit area). I learned from my Polish friend Hanna that even Poland had regional foods, so I guess that may be why the Chicago group didn’t do that. Hanna told me many of my family’s traditions were more Russian. There were so many local traditions when I grew up. The Irish were big on a sunrise Mass. The Swedes had a huge smorgasbord on Holy Saturday. The Hungarians also create intricate egg designs.

 
Anyway, when I moved South, Easter was a big church day, but I missed the ethnic traditions. Look up Southern Easter Customs, and you get menus full of traditional Southern food like banana pudding, corn casserole, lots of ham, and green beans & bacon. You’d see much the same menu for most Southern holidays. Which got me wondering…

According to http://names.mongabay.com/ancestry/region.html, which uses Census data, the great Lakes area is comprised largely of 10 differing ethnic groups, ranging from Italian to Norwegian to Polish to Irish. In the South, in contrast, there are 6 – “American”, Irish, African American, German, French (Louisiana), and English. Perhaps this more homogenous origin is why the North seems, to me, to be more open and welcoming. We’re just used to a greater range of people. To be fair, the North could use a LOT of lessons in hospitality from the South, but one of the overall themes when you look up “how to be Southern” is that you can’t. Vermont has this too, but it seems much more widespread in the South. If you relocated, you’ll always be an outsider. There’s a bit less of that in Florida, where *everyone* is from somewhere else, but even if you listen to the jokes you get the point. “There’s a difference between Yankees and Damn Yankees. Yankees are northerners visiting the South but Damn Yankees are northerners who visit the South and stay.” “Don't go around talking about how much better it is back home. If you don't like it here, take your Yankee butt back home.” “We are fully aware that the humidity is high. Quit your griping, spend your money, and leave.”
 

In the Great Lakes area, there are Chicagoan jokes and Michigander jokes and overall “up north” jokes, but they just don’t seem to have the same nasty undertone – it seems more a friendly rivalry between cities or states.  “Remember to allow for room under your children’s Halloween costumes for snowsuits.” “It’s not a typical Chicago daily commute unless someone almost kills you on the road. Driving for a few months in Chicago will make you a more aware driver than anywhere else in the world.” “Ask a Michigander where they’re from and they’ll point to a spot on their hand.”   
 

Perhaps the people I know from up north are more tolerant because we *have* to be – there are too many different groups. Chicago has a large Chinatown as well as a huge Hispanic population. Dearborn MI, outside of Detroit, has the largest group of people from the Middle East in the world outside of the actual Middle East. The Twin Cities has an ever-growing Somalian community. It just seems that the North is much more of a Melting Pot than the South overall.

My usual disclaimer – this is a discussion of my thoughts and experiences. While I do make an effort to look up some statistics, this is NOT a fully-researched, peer-reviewed paper.

Fish n' Onion Rings

I'll make this one quick since I am on the road - back in Michigan in fact. Once again, I know this observation is not going to be the same everywhere, but overall this is what I'm seeing. 

It's Lent, so Friday fish fry’s abound both north and south. hat I've noticed is a difference in the way fish tends to be prepared between the two areas. I not only like a good fish fry, but I prefer onion rings when they are available. 

Up north, batter is the primary way both fish and onion rings are prepared. Beer battered this and that nearly everywhere.

Down south, breading seems to be the main preparation, with cornmeal being king. 

They are both good, and I'd never think of having catfish any way but breaded in cornmeal, but I grew up with beer-batter and that's just my preference. It's been nice to get some on this visit. Beer battering is trickier, so I've not been able to master the preparation at home. I can get it, just not consistently. breaded is a better choice for  
my home attempts.

Northern or Southern? Part One

4 Things a True Southerner Knows:

• The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption. Only women have hissy fits (less violent and shorter), while anyone can have a conniption (longer and somebody can get hurt).
• Pretty much how many fish make up a mess. You can have a “nice” mess or a “big” mess as well.

 

• Just how crooked cattywampus is.
• That "gimme sugar" don't mean "pass me the sugar."

   

4 Things a True Yankee Knows:

• The Great Lakes are not oceans, they just feel like they are. They even have (small) tides!
• The start of Deer Season Might as well be a State holiday here - it coincides with people all across the area “calling in sick” to work.

 

• In Michigan it’s actually possible to drive south to Canada   
• “Winter” lasts an average of 7 months. It will snow. Lots. No, school is not cancelled, nothing is closed and all stores are open as usual. Yes, even when we’ve received 20” of new snow.

 

Nightmare Spiders

This post will have no relevant photos. Anyone who knows me understands why.

Shortly after I moved to the South, there was a spider in my kitchen. This was no ordinary spider. Just as roaches in the South are ginormous, this was a SPIDER. A nightmare spider. As big as a dragon. It had KNEES. It was grey and fuzzy and out of the corner of my eye I thought it was a mouse. I should be so lucky. My kitchen had one exit - only one way out unless I wanted to break a window. Which was an option.

It was also faster than one would think. No sleepy Southern spiders here. I grabbed the only thing I had handy, given my state of panic. Tilex. This is bleach in a spray bottle. I essentially drowned the spider in bleach and it curled up. With my foe vanquished and not looking quite so massive and spider-y,  I gingerly leaped over it to get to the rest of the house and a broom.

When I returned, it was moving - MOVING I say! After being drowned in bleach!

My memory is hazy at this point - I may have been in a fugue state. I think there was more bleach and possibly a saucepan involved, but I knew I could not let is get where it was heading, which was either in my pantry or under the refrigerator. Knowing there was a live nightmare dragon spider in my kitchen would result in my starving to death.

When I came to, it was curled up even tighter, but I didn't trust it anymore to stay dead. I threw some paper towels over it, and finally shielded from seeing it, I stepped on it. Then I left it there for my husband to clean up. He'd be home in less than two weeks.

When he got there, I told him there were two things I did NOT want to hear. #1 - this little thing? (It was HUGE in life. It had KNEES. After two weeks of desiccation, who knows.)  #2 - Where is it?

This whole story came to mind a few moments ago. I was heading outside to assess my backyard and pick up sticks in preparation for mowing down the Florida version of a dandelion. No idea yet what that weed is called, but it grows tall and fast and has a teeny yellow flower. Anyway, I was going to head out through the patio, and opened the door to step out, and there was a black nightmare dragon monster spider. It appears dead, but they play 'possom here. I retreated, realizing that my weeds are not really all that bad. I have a guest coming Friday, so I may need to deal with it if it is really dead and does not go away. My husband is a couple of weeks from home, so that plan won't work. On the other hand, my boss is dropping off a coffee table sometime this week, so perhaps I can have him dispose of the body.

We don't have spiders like that up North. Really, we don't. The only benefit of giant spiders in the South is it allows me to entertain others with my utter panic.

Manners, Part One

The South is known for it's hospitality and gentility. The North - isn't. But the criteria for being polite in the North differ from being polite in the South.

All children are taught please and thank you. But in the South you have to add "ma'am" and "sir" after all your “pleases” and thank “yous.” I had asked a coworker to please assist me a bit with Southern manners because she said we spoke in a rude manner, and it took me a while to figure out what she was talking about because in the North we're not taught to include ma'am or sir after everything. We’re not impolite, we’re just streamlining. Northerners just get to the point. I don’t ask her for advice anymore after I overheard her rail about “all these rude Yankees” who transferred over to the company after the merge.

Down South, most men (and some of the ladies) call me “Ms. Barbara.” I don’t have a difficult last name, and it appears to be generally geared toward women. I don’t hear anyone calling my boss “Mr. Bobby.” Up North, usually I only hear children calling their teachers “Ms. First Name,” and usually only when the last name is complex.

It seems that to be polite in the South you must waste your time talking to people you don't want to talk to. For instance, if you are at the mall and someone catches you with a stack of pamphlets, you are obligated to look interested, nod your head, politely say no thank you at least 11 times before excusing yourself for good and throwing away their pamphlet in private.

Up North, we have an understanding that the salesperson pretends that you actually didn't see them or they simply mutter something rude under their breath and move on to the next target. Not in the South. This is a waste of time - you're wasting my time blabbering on about your product or religion, I've tuned you out, I'm bored, I’M NOT LISTENING. I don't think it makes someone impolite if they just want to be left alone. In fact, I think it's polite to leave someone alone who wants to be.

I've also noticed that overall, Northerners talk fast, over each other and will interrupt without thinking. In my family it's the only way to get a word in. In the South, a story can go on for an hour and a pause can be a full minute. If you talk during this "pause" you're rude. I read somewhere that “A conversation with a Northerner is like a game of ping pong. Thoughts go back and forth rapidly like a ping pong ball over the net. In the South it's more like baseball. It's slow, each talker has a turn when they're "at bat" and you better not try to talk when it isn't your turn. Yankees can also be more abrupt than Southerners. We're not trying to be rude, we're trying to be polite and save everyone time.” Good description – my co-worker could use this explanation. 

Southern gentlemen do have better manners in some areas. I cannot tell you how many times a Northern jerk has not only *not* held a door open for me, but let it slam in my face. I can open a door myself, but if ANYONE is right behind you, male or female, it’s just polite to at a minimum make sure they’ve caught the door. For all you know, when letting a door close behind you, a parent juggling kids and bags might be right behind you. So manners are important. Say please, say thank you, and hold open a door for someone. Northerners in the South, exercise your patience, it's a lot slower moving down here. Southerners, please understand, we're not trying to be rude, we're just a faster-paced people.

Wildlife

When you picture the wildlife of the South, most images include birds such as flamingos (even though they are not native), pelicans, and egrets, along with alligators, shrimp and crayfish, and the manatee. Up north, you picture black bear, deer, elk, moose, and the wolf. 

The species may differ here and there, but squirrels, skunk, otter, deer, rabbits, raccoons, and opossums thrive throughout the land. The Deep South, however, has lots of coastal areas so dolphins and whales can at times be spotted either from shore, a dock, or on a small boat. We don't have those up north, until you get way east to the ocean.

Both areas have coyote, but if you are in the North Woods and hear a howl, you're thinking wolf. 

Some critters are distinctive to the area - you don't find armadillo up in the North Woods, and you won't see porcupines down in the Deep South. 

Other distinct animals are iconic to the region, such as the aforementioned moose and manatee.

 
Bobcats are found in both areas. Up north, however, you might see a lynx. 

Wild pigs are found primarily in the South, but badgers are a northern critter. Deer are overall larger in the north, but are a favorite of hunters in both regions.

A lot of southern wildlife is familiar to a northern transplant, but there are enough differences that you know you’re not in Kansas anymore.