Fish n' Onion Rings

I'll make this one quick since I am on the road - back in Michigan in fact. Once again, I know this observation is not going to be the same everywhere, but overall this is what I'm seeing. 

It's Lent, so Friday fish fry’s abound both north and south. hat I've noticed is a difference in the way fish tends to be prepared between the two areas. I not only like a good fish fry, but I prefer onion rings when they are available. 

Up north, batter is the primary way both fish and onion rings are prepared. Beer battered this and that nearly everywhere.

Down south, breading seems to be the main preparation, with cornmeal being king. 

They are both good, and I'd never think of having catfish any way but breaded in cornmeal, but I grew up with beer-batter and that's just my preference. It's been nice to get some on this visit. Beer battering is trickier, so I've not been able to master the preparation at home. I can get it, just not consistently. breaded is a better choice for  
my home attempts.

Northern or Southern? Part One

4 Things a True Southerner Knows:

• The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption. Only women have hissy fits (less violent and shorter), while anyone can have a conniption (longer and somebody can get hurt).
• Pretty much how many fish make up a mess. You can have a “nice” mess or a “big” mess as well.

 

• Just how crooked cattywampus is.
• That "gimme sugar" don't mean "pass me the sugar."

   

4 Things a True Yankee Knows:

• The Great Lakes are not oceans, they just feel like they are. They even have (small) tides!
• The start of Deer Season Might as well be a State holiday here - it coincides with people all across the area “calling in sick” to work.

 

• In Michigan it’s actually possible to drive south to Canada   
• “Winter” lasts an average of 7 months. It will snow. Lots. No, school is not cancelled, nothing is closed and all stores are open as usual. Yes, even when we’ve received 20” of new snow.

 

Nightmare Spiders

This post will have no relevant photos. Anyone who knows me understands why.

Shortly after I moved to the South, there was a spider in my kitchen. This was no ordinary spider. Just as roaches in the South are ginormous, this was a SPIDER. A nightmare spider. As big as a dragon. It had KNEES. It was grey and fuzzy and out of the corner of my eye I thought it was a mouse. I should be so lucky. My kitchen had one exit - only one way out unless I wanted to break a window. Which was an option.

It was also faster than one would think. No sleepy Southern spiders here. I grabbed the only thing I had handy, given my state of panic. Tilex. This is bleach in a spray bottle. I essentially drowned the spider in bleach and it curled up. With my foe vanquished and not looking quite so massive and spider-y,  I gingerly leaped over it to get to the rest of the house and a broom.

When I returned, it was moving - MOVING I say! After being drowned in bleach!

My memory is hazy at this point - I may have been in a fugue state. I think there was more bleach and possibly a saucepan involved, but I knew I could not let is get where it was heading, which was either in my pantry or under the refrigerator. Knowing there was a live nightmare dragon spider in my kitchen would result in my starving to death.

When I came to, it was curled up even tighter, but I didn't trust it anymore to stay dead. I threw some paper towels over it, and finally shielded from seeing it, I stepped on it. Then I left it there for my husband to clean up. He'd be home in less than two weeks.

When he got there, I told him there were two things I did NOT want to hear. #1 - this little thing? (It was HUGE in life. It had KNEES. After two weeks of desiccation, who knows.)  #2 - Where is it?

This whole story came to mind a few moments ago. I was heading outside to assess my backyard and pick up sticks in preparation for mowing down the Florida version of a dandelion. No idea yet what that weed is called, but it grows tall and fast and has a teeny yellow flower. Anyway, I was going to head out through the patio, and opened the door to step out, and there was a black nightmare dragon monster spider. It appears dead, but they play 'possom here. I retreated, realizing that my weeds are not really all that bad. I have a guest coming Friday, so I may need to deal with it if it is really dead and does not go away. My husband is a couple of weeks from home, so that plan won't work. On the other hand, my boss is dropping off a coffee table sometime this week, so perhaps I can have him dispose of the body.

We don't have spiders like that up North. Really, we don't. The only benefit of giant spiders in the South is it allows me to entertain others with my utter panic.

Manners, Part One

The South is known for it's hospitality and gentility. The North - isn't. But the criteria for being polite in the North differ from being polite in the South.

All children are taught please and thank you. But in the South you have to add "ma'am" and "sir" after all your “pleases” and thank “yous.” I had asked a coworker to please assist me a bit with Southern manners because she said we spoke in a rude manner, and it took me a while to figure out what she was talking about because in the North we're not taught to include ma'am or sir after everything. We’re not impolite, we’re just streamlining. Northerners just get to the point. I don’t ask her for advice anymore after I overheard her rail about “all these rude Yankees” who transferred over to the company after the merge.

Down South, most men (and some of the ladies) call me “Ms. Barbara.” I don’t have a difficult last name, and it appears to be generally geared toward women. I don’t hear anyone calling my boss “Mr. Bobby.” Up North, usually I only hear children calling their teachers “Ms. First Name,” and usually only when the last name is complex.

It seems that to be polite in the South you must waste your time talking to people you don't want to talk to. For instance, if you are at the mall and someone catches you with a stack of pamphlets, you are obligated to look interested, nod your head, politely say no thank you at least 11 times before excusing yourself for good and throwing away their pamphlet in private.

Up North, we have an understanding that the salesperson pretends that you actually didn't see them or they simply mutter something rude under their breath and move on to the next target. Not in the South. This is a waste of time - you're wasting my time blabbering on about your product or religion, I've tuned you out, I'm bored, I’M NOT LISTENING. I don't think it makes someone impolite if they just want to be left alone. In fact, I think it's polite to leave someone alone who wants to be.

I've also noticed that overall, Northerners talk fast, over each other and will interrupt without thinking. In my family it's the only way to get a word in. In the South, a story can go on for an hour and a pause can be a full minute. If you talk during this "pause" you're rude. I read somewhere that “A conversation with a Northerner is like a game of ping pong. Thoughts go back and forth rapidly like a ping pong ball over the net. In the South it's more like baseball. It's slow, each talker has a turn when they're "at bat" and you better not try to talk when it isn't your turn. Yankees can also be more abrupt than Southerners. We're not trying to be rude, we're trying to be polite and save everyone time.” Good description – my co-worker could use this explanation. 

Southern gentlemen do have better manners in some areas. I cannot tell you how many times a Northern jerk has not only *not* held a door open for me, but let it slam in my face. I can open a door myself, but if ANYONE is right behind you, male or female, it’s just polite to at a minimum make sure they’ve caught the door. For all you know, when letting a door close behind you, a parent juggling kids and bags might be right behind you. So manners are important. Say please, say thank you, and hold open a door for someone. Northerners in the South, exercise your patience, it's a lot slower moving down here. Southerners, please understand, we're not trying to be rude, we're just a faster-paced people.

Wildlife

When you picture the wildlife of the South, most images include birds such as flamingos (even though they are not native), pelicans, and egrets, along with alligators, shrimp and crayfish, and the manatee. Up north, you picture black bear, deer, elk, moose, and the wolf. 

The species may differ here and there, but squirrels, skunk, otter, deer, rabbits, raccoons, and opossums thrive throughout the land. The Deep South, however, has lots of coastal areas so dolphins and whales can at times be spotted either from shore, a dock, or on a small boat. We don't have those up north, until you get way east to the ocean.

Both areas have coyote, but if you are in the North Woods and hear a howl, you're thinking wolf. 

Some critters are distinctive to the area - you don't find armadillo up in the North Woods, and you won't see porcupines down in the Deep South. 

Other distinct animals are iconic to the region, such as the aforementioned moose and manatee.

 
Bobcats are found in both areas. Up north, however, you might see a lynx. 

Wild pigs are found primarily in the South, but badgers are a northern critter. Deer are overall larger in the north, but are a favorite of hunters in both regions.

A lot of southern wildlife is familiar to a northern transplant, but there are enough differences that you know you’re not in Kansas anymore.